Resentment is like taking poison

Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

Let all be harmonious

Let all be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil, or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead.

Find Life!

I’m excited. Actually, I’m doubly excited. We’re making preparations for having an on-line course to help people find freedom from anger. I’m excited about having one more tool for encouraging people to victory over anger.

In preparation for the course, I am working through Uprooting Anger myself—and I’m loving it. A prison chaplain once said that men who were doing the study were growing and changing. He said, “It’s life to them.” Later, an individual doing the study said, “It’s life to me.”

I experienced joy, excitement, conviction—yes, and life—as I originally did the study, but that was ten years ago. It then became discipline and work to edit and prepare Uprooting Anger for publication. This is the first time I’ve done the study as if I’d never seen it. As a result, I’m excited—because it’s life to me too! Every day as I work on a short lesson, I’m overwhelmed by the Lord and His goodness.

God said His Word doesn’t return void. I’m finding that to be true even as I review passages and concepts that are familiar to me.

Are you looking for life? I highly recommend God’s Word. You sometimes have trouble seeing how it applies to your personal life? Give Uprooting Anger a try. Maybe it will bless you like it’s blessing me.

It Takes a Pot

Quarreling is common among children. Years ago, when quarrels turned to name calling—or tattling—it was common to hear the retort, “It takes a pot to call a kettle black.” It brought to mind pictures of early America houses with black cast iron pots and kettles hanging in the fireplace.

The pots and pans—uh, kettles—in our house weren’t black, but I got the picture. I knew it meant the same thing as “It takes one to know one.” I also understood not to call someone a liar, because that phrase might be used to insinuate that I was a liar too. Some things are better left unsaid—even if they are true.

I’ve come to see there seems to be some truth to that saying. Have you ever noticed that when politicians are hurdling insults at their opponents, the same charges are usually fitting for the accuser? It always brings to mind pots calling kettles black.

I’ve seen the same between couples. For an example, she gets upset because he’s not sensitive to her needs and only thinks about himself. However, she’s so focused on her own needs and his failure to meet them, that she’s blind and deaf to what he says. She doesn’t realize she’s doing exactly what she’s accusing him of. Naturally, he shuts down because she’s only thinking of herself. The circle gets so vicious you can’t tell which is the pot and which the kettle.

If you don’t like to be part of such vicious cycles, it’s simple enough to stop it. Just remember that it takes a pot to call a kettle black, or it takes one to know one. If the kettle you have to deal with is looking black to you, take a minute to look in the mirror and see what you find. Be real sure a black pot isn’t staring back at you. I can just about guarantee that if you’ll polish up the pot until it shines, the kettle won’t look quite so black any more. Polishing the pot before calling the kettle black avoids a lot conflict.

Forgiveness is the sweetest

Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge.

Like weeds in a garden

Like weeds in a garden, anger left untended is sure to grow.

There is Power in Words

Is there a particular person that tends to get under your skin or that most frequently makes you mad? It’s likely your spouse, but could also be another family member or a co-worker.

Would you like a simple step to help the situation? It can help you not react as quickly and might even help the other person not be so irritating. Are you interested?

It’s simple. Speak well of the other person in public. Don’t say anything negative against him or her. Instead, make a habit of saying positive things as you talk about the person. (I know it might be hard, but if you try, you can find something.) Affirm him to his face and when talking about him to others, especially if he can hear—but be sincere.

Two things will happen if you regularly affirm the person publicly with genuine remarks.

First, your opinion will be influenced by your words, and you will begin to think better of the person. Consequently, you won’t be as easily irritated.

Second, the person will be influenced by your words. As you praise an attribute, you will get more of it. He or she will begin to live up to your praise.

It’s a new year, the time of resolutions. What could it hurt to give it a try for a few months? Give it time and watch what happens. Remember, you need to hold in the negative. If you slip and say something negative, before the day is over, make two positive comments to make up for it—or before the conversation is over if it will fit.

If you can’t think of something positive to say, ask God to help you. He loves that person in spite of their flaws.

I’d like to hear what happens. Share your story with me..