Anger, if not restrained...

Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.

Anger isn’t a problem?

Do you believe your anger isn’t a problem when you don’t hurt anybody?

If so, I have a question. If anger is not a problem, why did God tell us to put aside “all bitterness and wrath and anger” (Eph.4:31, emphasis added)?

Anger itself is not necessarily bad. Scripture tells of many times that God became angry.

So why did God tell us to put aside all anger?

Maybe it’s because our anger flows from a deceitful, self-centered heart. God’s anger is holy, because He is holy. Ours will always be contaminated because of sin. Anger affects everybody in the vicinity—even if they’re not the ones we’re mad at—just as vomiting into a fan defiles everybody in front of the fan.

Ask yourself: “What do I hope to gain by getting angry? What’s the purpose?”

Sometimes anger does get what we want. People often change their behavior to please us when we’re angry—but have you considered what it does to relationships? How is love affected? What about respect? (It may be easier to answer the questions by thinking of your response to someone else’s anger. Was your love and/or respect for that person affected?)

James tells us that “the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” (Jam 1:20). If James is right—and I believe He is—when you get angry, does it help accomplish your goal? As it accomplishes an immediate purpose, are you destroying an ultimate goal?

Instead of asking, “is my anger a problem?” maybe it would be better to ask, “Will I get better results with a different approach?” After all, anger does not achieve the righteousness of God.

Do you believe anger is not a problem?

For every minute you are angry...

For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

A Radical Suggestion

Do you try to control your anger, only to have it erupt at other drivers—or against those you love the most?

Do efforts to control your tongue seem futile?

I have a radical suggestion. If you’re really trying hard to not be angry and it isn’t working, quit trying. Why? Most attempts to change don’t work because of dependence on personal strength and goodness—on personal righteousness. Man’s righteousness is not good enough or powerful enough to bring lasting change to ones heart.

Rather than focusing on not being angry, build your relationship with the Source of goodness and righteousness. Jesus is the source of transforming power. Next to His, your righteousness is as filthy rags. Surrender your problem and cry out to Him for help. Yield to Him for change.

As He increases in your life and His nature becomes more a part of you, your anger problems will fade. Love will replace anger, because God is love.

Notes: This does not offer permission to abandon self control. Self control is a gift of the Spirit. We all need to exercise self control, acting toward others as we want them to act toward us.

The book Uprooting Anger: Destroying the Monster Within reveals many issues in our hearts which block us from having a close relationship with the Lord and thus hinder our transformation.

...make the best speech...

Speak when you are angry— and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

Great Anger Brings Penalty

A man of great anger shall bear the penalty, for if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again.

I Don’t Want to Get Over It

A couple of days ago a young man—whom I would consider an outstanding Christian, by the way—shared about a book he was reading on prayer. He said it had made him more confident to pray about everyday things in his life. As an example, he told about driving home from work and thinking, “I ought to tell God about getting mad at (somebody). That would be good.”

Immediately the thought arose, “I don’t want to tell God about that. I want to stay mad at him. I don’t want to get over it.”

That may sound terrible on the surface, but it’s a wonderful revelation. If we don’t recognize our anger, we will never deal with it. If we aren’t aware of our unrighteous attitude toward it, we will certainly never gain victory over it. If we were honest with ourselves, we’d realize that we often don’t want to get over our anger.

Too often, it feels good to be angry. We feel like the other person deserves our anger, and by being mad we get back at them. However, instead of hurting them, we harm ourselves as anger turns to bitterness and our hearts turn hard and cold.

Only when we obey God’s command to put away anger, can we find freedom within. The first step is to be honest about our anger. The second is to be willing to turn it over to the Lord—even when we don’t want to.